Ethiopia Day 12 - Leprosy Hospital, Kolfe Orphanage and a Long Flight Home

OK, I know this post is very belated but better late than never, right?

Our day 13 in Ethiopia was a Monday. It was also the day of our departure but since our flight didn't leave until 7:30 PM we had the whole day to take one last look at Addis Ababa. Just as we did on our first day in town, we made Tomoca our first stop for some of the world's best coffee.

Our agency arranged for our travel group to visit the orphanages that they help to support. First we had to return to the hospital for Taye's last antibiotic shot, which took forever, and then our driver suggested that we visit the Leprosy Hospital, so unfortunately we missed the first two orphanages.

Leprosy is almost non-existent in the US but it is still a problem in many countries. It is a treatable disease that is not very contagious and not at all contagious once an individual is under treatment. The Leprosy Hospital in Addis Ababa has 120 beds for leprosy patients who are also trained in various stages of making textiles. If you look closely at the pictures you can see the toll the disease took on their fingers before they got treatment, and yet they are spinning yarn, weaving and embroidering beautiful cloth.

We bought a few textiles as souvenirs and then headed across town to meet up with our group at Kolfe. On our way, Solomon pointed out the local meat market. They will either butcher the animal for you or, as we were told, most families choose to purchase a live animal and do the butchering at home.

Dinner

Hides drying in the sun

Butchers' overalls with onlooking vultures

Close-up of vultures

Kolfe is an orphanage for older boys. Gladney has done much to improve the conditions there but it was still grim and as the new mother of two little boys, it broke my heart to see. The boys who live here have very little chance of being adopted. 

One of the dorms

Inside of dorm

Another dorm

Laundry

Computer lab

Vegetable garden

Outside of dining hall

Firewood to fuel the stoves

Shiro for lunch

Giant stack of injera. All of this will be consumed in one meal.

Lunch hall

Soccer field

We were careful to get pictures without the children, as we are not allowed to post their pictures on the Internet.

Our last stop was lunch with our travel group. We were all pretty drained at this point but for me it was the perfect end to the trip. With Taye's illness we didn't get to spend enough time with these lovely families but nonetheless we share a common bond and our brief time together will not be forgotten.

We left for the airport around 4:30 for our 7:30 flight. We had a lot of luggage and it was challenging getting through the security check point but we managed and had a bite to eat while waiting for our flight. Again, the baby carriers were our saviour.

The boys were remarkably well behaved on the long journey home, which took us a total of 24 hours. They slept most of the trip, although on our connection flight in the middle of the night we had to go through several (four I think) security check points. They slept through all except the last one, when we had to remove our sleeping children from their carriers so that they could frisk all four of us. Dash had a big melt down after that and I remember thinking that we felt like a family for the first time as Mark, Taye and I pulled together to stick stickers on ourselves and on Dash to help him regain his sense of humor!

Still can't believe it all was only two months ago. We've come a long way...

Dash and Mommy, July 2010

Ethiopia Day 11 - Meeting Their Birth Mother, Oromo Countryside

The boys' birth mother made the long trip to Addis in order to meet us and say goodbye to the boys. That meeting was planned for Friday morning but we had to postpone due to Taye's illness. Our agency arranged for meals and accommodations for her while he regained his health and by Sunday morning we decided that everyone was well enough to move forward.

I had been thinking and worrying and wondering about this meeting for a very long time. Now that it was upon me I felt completely unprepared, even though I had painstakingly written down a list of questions to ask. If you are preparing for this meeting yourself, there was some great advice given on the blog shower that Rebecca threw for me before we left. Thanks again to those of you who shared your experiences with us.

I expected the meeting to occur inside our agency's office, but as soon as I got out of the van a pretty young woman came forward, embraced me and planted several kisses on my cheeks. I was surprised by her age, as the report we have says she is 42 (my age) but this woman was young enough to be my daughter. The boys have her eyes, and I see her in them often.

Our time together was brief and difficult. The boys clung to me and our hearts broke for her. I couldn't tell if the boys remembered her. It had been 10 months since she had relinquished them due to extreme poverty following the death of their father. Through two translators I asked if she had any questions for us. She wanted to know how she would get the updates that we have promised to send each year until the boys are 18. I explained that she could get them through our agency. I asked her some questions myself but she was very sad and it just didn't seem right to grill her with a long list so I just told her how much we love the boys, that they would know how much she loved them, and then we held hands and let her say goodbye to her sons. It wasn't enough.

We spent that afternoon driving out to the Oromo countryside. I highly recommend this trip, especially if you don't have time to travel to another region in Ethiopia. Oromo is a day trip and it will give you a much better feel for the country. We saw many wonderful sites including a church carved out of the ground built by the same architect who built the churches in Lalibela. He died before it was finished so it is not as ornate but nonetheless worth seeing. If you go I recommend wearing socks, as you will have to remove your shoes before entering the church. We also saw ancient stone carvings, colorful farmer's markets, rivers and scenery, teff being processed the old fashioned way with oxen, and of course many beautiful people.

Ethiopia Days 9 - 10 - A Visit to the Hospital

Day nine started at 1 AM when I got up to give Taye his next dose of antibiotics. I was relieved when he went right back to sleep but that easy feeling quickly disappeared when he woke up 20 minutes later and began vomiting again, this time more frequently and more violently. By 3 AM I was very worried and started thinking that we needed to get him to a hospital. I began calling people for help shortly thereafter and we departed for the hospital in the wee hours of the morning. By this point he was vomiting blood.

We spent the next two hours driving around Addis Ababa trying to find a hospital with a doctor. It was a holiday so perhaps that is why it was so difficult, but to our shock and dismay the first four hospitals we visited didn't have a doctor or anyone else on staff who could help us.

Finally we found Saint Yared General Hospital. It was down a dirt road and I feared the worst but not only did they have a doctor, they even had a pediatric ward. After a brief evaluation they agreed that Taye did indeed need to be admitted.

It took a very long time and a lot of pain to get this IV in his poor little foot. Solomon was amazing and helped hold him down when I couldn't take it any more, and entertained him with games on his iPhone when I needed a break to go cry in the next room for a minute!

I spent the next 30 hours in a chair beside his hospital bed, praying that the medication they were administering would help him. There was some frightening talk about the possibility of meningitis, and a series of tests. The vomiting stopped shortly after we got the IV drip in him and the two of us spent the rest of the day drifting in and out of sleep. Mark went back to the guest house to check on and spend some time with our other son. Poor kid probably wondered where the heck we all had gone but thankfully he seemed to be having fun playing with the baby sitters and the other kids at the guest house. At the end of the day Mark asked the sitter to spend the night with Dash and he came back to the hospital to spend the night with us.

In the evening our little man woke up, gave me a weak smile and started talking. I can't remember ever feeling such relief! We gave him a couple special toys that we had originally been saving for the airplane and he played for a while before falling into a deep sleep for the rest of the night.

All night long we could hear beautiful chanting outside our window, and I will never forget the smell of camp fire smoke that permiated the air. When the sun came up I looked out our window to see where these sounds and smells had come from and found this little community sandwiched between the highway and the hospital. Later I learned from Solomon that it was another holiday, this one dedicated to Mary, and it was the chanting of the priests at a nearby church that kept me company all night. Coincidently, my own prayers to Mary kept me company many nights over the past two years while I waited to bring the boys home.

The next afternoon we were discharged and our boy made a full recovery, although we are still batteling a cough that we think we got from our stay there (I was very glad that I had gotten all my travel shots!). We never did figure out what the problem was with Taye, but there was some speculation that originally it had been a stomach flu that became exasperated by the antibiotics he was given. One thing it was not was an ear infection.

I hope no one ever needs this information but just in case, I would recommend Dr. Daniel at Saint Yared General Hospital. We received decent care and a spacious and clean private hospital room for about 100 dollars. Dr. Daniel's English is excellent and he was straight and communicative with us, and gentle with Taye.

Ethiopia Day 8 - Embassy Appointment, a Sick Child and Some Pretty Impressive Shoulder Dancing

On day eight we had our long awaited embassy appointment, the last bit of red tape before being able to bring our boys home.

We set the alarm early in order to be there by 8 AM. Up until this day our morning rituals had been loooong and slooooow. This day was a glimpse at reality and how challenging it is to get two little boys ready under a deadline, even when you give yourselves two hours lead time!

Taye was pretty fussy that morning and at first I thought it was an emotional hangover from the day before. Then he indicated that his tummy hurt and shortly thereafter we all realized that it was much more than a case of the blues.

By the time we got to our embassy appointment the poor little guy had already thrown up three times (yes, most of it landed on me!). We were bumped to the front of the line and our embassy appointment went by in a blurr. For those anticipating this moment here are a few comments:

1. I was sooo glad I had a baby carrier with me.

2. Bring food, water, snacks and toys. Even being bumped to the front of the line we had a bit of a wait.

3. The interview itself was short and sweet. When they call your name you go upstairs, stand at a counter and speak to a person behind a window (think DMV), raise your right hand and swear you are telling the truth (which felt so "American" that I got a lump in my throat), then tell them what you know of your child(ren)'s story. They want to know things like where they are from, the circumstances that led to the adoption, who you have met. You sign a few documents and voile! Your child(ren) are Americans!

OK, in all seriousness it was not "voile". It took us two years to bring our boys home and we feel confident that our adoption is ligitimate thanks to the due-dilligence of many parties involved.

The whole embassy appointment thing is pretty unceremonious but in spite of being worried about Taye, and covered in vomit, the significance of it all was not lost on me.

We spent the rest of the day nursing our sick child. The vomiting continued so we brought him back to the care center to visit the Gladney doctor. I tried to minimize the emotional trauma of going back there by having the doctor meet us in a house that wasn't one the boys were familier with. The doctor diagnosed him with a double ear infection (??) and prescribed a liquid antibiotic.

When we got back to the guest house he fell asleep and slept soundly for the first time all day. With diagnosis, antibiotics and sleeping child in hand we started to breath a little easier and decided to attend the cultural dinner that evening. The restaurant was only 10 minutes from the guest house and Solomon, the amazing Solomon, offered to call and check in on him, so off we went.

For the next couple hours we relaxed a little, enjoyed the company of the other families in our group, and dined on delicious traditional Ethiopian food.

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We were also entertained with traditional Ethiopian shoulder dancing. I loved watching these dancers. The video doesn't do justice to their talent!

Toward the end of the performance, one of the dancers came to our table and challenged us to this amazing, and difficult shoulder dancing. We had all heard how good Travis was and he did not disappoint...

It wasn't a surprise to see that Belay was good at it too!

Lisa and Travis did a great job! So did Eryn but I was still recovering from my own performance so I didn't get a picture of her, but no one could hold a candle to Mark! Watch this!

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He received a loud round of applause for that performance! Who knew??

We were relieved to learn that both boys had slept the entire time we were gone. Exhausted ourselves, we fell straight into bed. We now refer to that enjoyable evening as "the eye of the storm", but more on that tomorrow...

Ethiopia Day 7 - Care Center Visit

After a few days of bonding with our children, which had been going quite well, our agency hosted several "cultural" activities to help us learn more about Ethiopia and about our children's past. The first of these events was a visit to the care center where our boys had spent the past nine months.

The day started off nicely...

The boys donned their back packs.

We spent some time in the garden with this lovely family.

We posed for a family portrait that you have all probably seen by now...

...then we drove out to the Gladney Care Center.

Many people had warned us that this day was difficult and we worried about how hard it would be for us given the age of our boys and the length of time they had been in care. We knew Gladney took excellent care of the children and that likely our boys would have developed a bond with these people. I asked our agency for advice and they said that this day was indeed a step backward in the bonding process, but they did not think we should wait until the end of the week to take placement (not sure I would have been able to wait that long anyway!). I thought I was prepared for what was to come but I am not sure there is any way to really prepare for this. I will share with you our experience in the event that it helps someone else.

Shortly after we arrived the boys' "Special Mothers"--the women who had been their primary care givers for the past 9 months--came and took them back to their old room to change into traditional Ethiopian clothing for a coffee ceremony that was about to happen. They were only gone a short period of time before returning with the boys and with presents for Mark and me. We also gave them a gift of photo books of the boys that I had made on Snapfish.com and thanked them as best we could for all they had done over the past nine months.

By this point we could see that Taye was happy to see these familiar faces and wasn't too happy about the idea of coming back to us.

Dash, on the other hand, had the opposite reaction and cried when the women wanted to take him away again. Regardless, they whisked him off and Mark and I started our tour of the care center.

When we got to the boys' room we found Dash in his crib doing this. He stopped crying when I picked him up and held him for a while, then he got down and happily went to play with his buddies (I can't show pictures of the other children so you don't get to see the happy pictures!).

Taye was in his crib singing along to one of his favorite songs and obviously happy to be back in familiar surroundings. When we tried to take the boys with us to the next room Taye cried like we had never heard. Actually, this was the first time we had heard either boy cry so the whole thing was pretty upsetting and overwhelming for me and I ended up in tears myself. Of course I didn't let the boys see this but pretty much everyone else did. Not my best moment!

The folks at Gladney were great--clearly they had seen this before--and they helped us decide to leave the boys to play with their friends while we continued on the tour, since we had some important care packages to deliver and pictures to take for people. The boys seemed happy to stay with their buddies so the plan was to leave them there until we were ready to go in order to minimize their confusion but...

...some communication got crossed and when we got back to the coffee ceremony there they were! One look at us was enough to provoke another round of very loud crying for what seemed like a very long time and our efforts to comfort them only made it worse. Poor kids!!

Eventually, with the help of a some lollipops and popcorn (clearly I am not above bribery)...

...the tears stopped and we were able to enjoy the coffee ceremony.

Hand roasted coffee and popcorn is traditionally served to guests in Ethiopia. The coffee truly is some of the best I have ever had.

Finally we left for the guest house. This picture says it all about how we were feeling. Mark loves this picture and thinks it looks like I just gave birth to two toddlers. Indeed.

The rest of our day didn't look much different!

I am not sure how the new two trip rule changes the agenda while in country, but for those adopting toddlers and older children, if this day is still on the agenda be forewarned, it might be pretty tough on your kids and on you. If I had it to do over again I would have left the boys at the guest house with a babysitter. I think it was just unnecessarily draining and confusing for them. Thanks to those of you who warned me. If only I had heeded your warnings more aggressively!

It also must be said that the fact that our boys loved it there so much is a tribute to the excellent care they received. We get that and are grateful that our boys had the opportunity to bond with these lovely women during their stay there.

If you have received a referral of a child in House #4, shoot me an email! Somehow I managed to have the presence of mind to take several pictures of the kids that were roomies with our boys!