A Glimpse

Since we received our referral we have gotten several pictures and three priceless videos of the boys from traveling families. The house is now plastered with framed pictures of their gorgeous faces and we watch those videos multiple times a day. We are sooooo so grateful to these families and imagine this round of waiting would be much more difficult without these little glimpses into their personalities. Here are a few things that we have learned from the pictures...

They have beautiful smiles!

They are extremely sweet and a little shy. They don't always like all the attention so we've seen a few pouts and some tears as well. I hate seeing them unhappy (in one video one of the boys bursts into tears and I tear up with him almost every time I watch it) but it seems like normal 29 month old behavior to be cautious of strangers so I'm taking that as a good sign.

Somehow they manage to keep their sneakers clean!

And the awesome little trucks are now in their possession, thanks to Mika! I must say it is pretty surreal to see them holding something that was in our home just a short time ago.

One of the boys is frequently seen palling around with the same sweet little girl and boy (twin in red and white stripes, sweet little boy in poke-a-dots and sweet little girl in blue and white). If you recognize either of these children as your referral let me know and I will send you the pictures I have.

And although they are identical, even sometimes down to their mannerisms, we can already tell them apart based on their amazing personalities! We are in love and can't wait to meet them in person!

All of this is more than we expected to learn in our first month and we really cannot express how grateful we are to everyone who has taken pictures for us.

We will be blessed beyond measure to have these boys in our lives! Praying that day comes very soon but until then, back to nesting. What a great distraction that has been lately :-)

Over the Top!

This lovely person gave me an award...uh...ages ago. Sorry it took me so long to respond! While reading a book this evening I nodded off at 5 o'clock and now find myself wide awake in the wee hours of the night taking care of all sorts of things that have slipped away from me lately!

The award comes with the challenge of answering the below list of questions with ONE WORD and then passing the award along. Yeah, pithiness has never really been my forte but I'm gonna try...

1. Where is your cell phone? Nightstand 

2. Your hair? Fine

3. Your mother? Beautiful

4. Your father? Listener

5. Your favorite food? Sushi

6. Your dream last night? TWINS

7. Your favorite drink? Water

8. Your dream / goal? Motherhood

9. What room are you in? Bedroom

10. Your hobby? Knitting and reading and writing and gardening and...DRAT! Ok, here's one word: Satisfying

11. Your fear? Delays

12. Where do you want to be in six years? Present

13. Where were you last night? Home

14. Something that you aren't? Unlucky

15. Muffins? Blueberry

16. Wish list item? COURT DATE

17. Where did you grow up? New Hampshire

18. Last thing you did? Read

19. What are you wearing? PJ's

20. Your TV? On

21. Your pets? Lovable

22. Friends? Treasures

23. Your life? Blessed

24. Your mood? Hopeful

25. Missing someone? TWINS

26. Vehicle? Saab

27. Something your not wearing? Shoes

28. Your favorite store? Bookstore

29. Your favorite color? Green

30. What was the last time you laughed? Tonight!

31. Last time you cried? Also tonight while laughing!

32. Your best friend? Mark

33. One place that I could go over and over? Beach

34. One person who emails you regularly? Mom

35. Favorite place to eat? Osetra

I pass this award on to these four fabulous people!

Emily

Tamara

Kristin

Lisa

Wordless Wednesday

By Popular Demand: Ethiopian Cooking Expose

Several of you have asked that I share my knowledge of Ethiopian cooking. I preface by saying that I am in no way an expert on this subject. Most of my knowledge merely comes from reading and asking my husband to cook recipes I find on the internet (yes, it’s true, Mark is the chef extraordinaire in this house)! I believe that these recipes are fairly authentic but I don't know for sure. What I do know is that they are delicious.

Please, if you have deeper knowledge on the subject or have a favorite recipe, help a girl out and share your knowledge in the comments!

So here's what I  know. There are four basic elements to Ethiopian cooking; injera, berbere, nitter kebbeh, and a variety of wats (or wets, or w'ets), commonly known in the English language as stews.

Injera is a type of flatbread that is served with almost every meal in Ethiopia. It is made with teff flour and has a distinctive sour flavor (like sourdough bread) and a spongy texture (nothing at all like sourdough bread or really anything that we eat in this culture). Injera is used to soak up and scoop up the wat and is such an important staple in Ethiopia that there is even a common greeting that literally translates to, “Have you eaten injera today?”. If you are in the process of, or have already, adopted children who are eating solid food it is likely that they have acquired a taste for the stuff. You too might find your children proclaiming, “Give me injera!”

Injera seems to be a rather difficult thing to make and I am told that even native Ethiopians often buy it from those who specialize in its creation. As I mentioned in my last post, I highly recommend Zelalem Injera as a source to purchase it online, or if you have local Ethiopian stores in your area you can usually purchase it there and save a bundle on shipping.

Berbere is the spice used to flavor Ethiopian dishes. Like a curry, it is a blend of certain spices in varying proportions and I have read that families often have their own unique recipe. You have a few choices as to how you come by your own berbere; buy it from a local Ethiopian store, order it online (recommended source: Ethiopianspice.com) or make it yourself. My dear husband has tried a few recipes. Here's his favorite:

_____________________________________________
Yield: about ½ cup
Time: approximately 15 minutes

10 dried chilies
8 white cardamom pods
1 tsp cumin seeds
1 tsp coriander seeds
1 tsp fenugreek seeds
8 cloves
1 tsp allspice berries
2 tsp black peppercorns
1 tsp ajowan seeds
1 tsp ground ginger
½ tsp grated nutmeg
2 tbsp salt

Snap the chilies and shake out some of the seeds (unless you like it smokin' hot!). Remove the stalks. Heat a heavy frying pan. Bruise the cardamon pods and add them to the pan with the chili, cumin, coriander, fenugreek, cloves, allspice berries, peppercorns and ajowan seeds. Roast the spices, shaking the pan over medium heat, until they give off a rich aroma. Seed the cardamons, then tip all the roasted spices into a large mortar, spice mill or coffee grinder kept specifically for spices. Grind to a fine powder. Stir in the ginger, nutmeg and salt. Use immediately or transfer to an airtight jar.
_____________________________________________


If you can't find all these spices locally, or if you want to use the best spices around, I highly recommend Penzey's. These spices are in a league of their own and are much better than anything you'll find in a grocery store.

Niter Kebbeh is a clarified, seasoned butter. Like injera and berbere, it is an essential building block in Ethiopian cuisine. Regular butter or oil can be substituted if you don't have time to make niter kebbeh but the dish won't be as good. Click here for the recipe we've been using.

Last but not least are the wats, which are essentially stews comprised of vegetables, lentils or slow cooked meats. Traditionally two or three wats are served at a time. Here are a few of our favorites:

Mesir Wat (my absolute favorite!)
Yetakelt W'et (these first two go particularly well together)
Dora Wat (we prefer to use skinless, boneless chicken)

To serve, make a layer of injera on the bottom of the plate, spoon two or more wats onto the injera, and serve with a side of injera for scooping up the wat. Traditionally the meal is served family style and injera is used in place of utensils, using your right hand only.

This isn't an Ethiopian tradition but we like to top with a sprinkle of chopped cilantro and a dollop of plain yogurt or sour cream. Yum!

If you prefer red meat there are also dishes with beef and lamb. Just do a Google search on Ethiopian Cooking, or Tibs Wat, and you should find some recipes. The next dish we are planning to try is Shiro Wat, which is a popular dish made with split peas.

Hope this helps some of you get started. You won't regret it!

Give Me Injera!

In Ethiopia Amharic is the official language but there are about 80 languages spoken throughout the country. The twins are from a region where Amharic is not the native language but since coming into Gladney's care they have been picking it up. Reportedly one of their favorite things to say in Amharic is, "Give me injera!*".

Of course Mark and I think this is to-die-for cute. Well, ok, we think pretty much everything about the boys is to-die-for cute but this thing in particular has become a bit of a catch phrase. "Give me injera! Ahem...I mean please pass the salt" or last night, "Give me injera! Ahem...I mean are you coming up to bed soon?". What can I say, we're a bit silly around here.

Unfortunately our one attempt to actually make injera failed miserably. Instead of a liquid substance that could be ladled into a pan like pancake batter, it turned into a dry ball of disgusting gook. We think the proportions in this particular recipe must be off, but it is the only recipe we have other than one that calls for Bisquick and buckwheat pancake mix which, well, that just doesn't seem right (if anyone has a good recipe that uses teff flour I'd love to get it from you!).

This means that all the lovely meals of Dora Wat and Mesir Wat and Yetakelt W'et that we have had over the past few months have been injera-less, and that just doesn’t seem right either, so I finally took the bull by the horns and did what any decent ex-New York City dweller would do…I called someone and had it delivered!

The nicest people at Zelalem Injera will make it fresh in two flavors (sour and more sour) and ship it straight to your door, anywhere in the country. Ours arrived today and it is delicious.

OK, boys, we're ready for you. We have injera!!

One order comes with a ton of injera, so unless you are feeding an army or have a big freezer, one order should be plenty.

* Injera is a type of flatbread made in Ethiopia. The bread is a staple food, served with almost every meal. True injera is made with teff flour, a gluten free flour produced from teff, a popular African grain. Injera has a distinctive sour flavor and spongy texture which makes it ideally suited to sopping up curries, stews, and other wet dishes.

A Loss for Words

It doesn't happen often, but lately I really have been at a loss for words. It started with the occurrence of the greatest story of my life (so far), when we got our referral two weeks ago. All the love and joy has turned my brain to mush and my focus has shifted from reading and writing about adoption, to researching all the things I think I might need to know about, or buy for, two year old little boys.

All this nesting would have made a fun post, and it still might in the future, but today my thoughts are elsewhere.

As I am sure you are, I am thinking a lot about the people of Haiti. Such a feeling of helplessness washes over me as I watch the scenes on my TV screen. I also think a lot about the families who are adopting from Haiti, desperate to bring their children home. Needless to say, those stories strike a chord. You can read more about it here and here and here (the last two include some ways you can help).

My thoughts are also on Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr., who I am so very grateful for, and without whom the family we are about to become might not be possible. Please go here to read the words of someone who has written about this beautifully. Thank you, Kristine and thank you, Dr. King!

Hoping I have more words of my own to share with you next week, but until then I will leave you with some of the greatest words ever spoken.

“Now, I say to you today my friends, even though we face the difficulties of today and tomorrow, I still have a dream. It is a dream deeply rooted in the American dream. I have a dream that one day this nation will rise up and live out the true meaning of its creed: - 'We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal.'” ~Martin Luther King Jr., Speech at Civil Rights March on Washington, August 28, 1963

Life after “The Call” and What’s Next

Whew! What a week! My feet are definitely still ten feet off the ground! I had been told that all the waiting would melt into the background once we saw their faces but I wasn’t so sure I believed it, especially toward the end. Well, it's true. All the waiting seems like nothing now and these beautiful little boys were worth every single second! I also have to thank God that Gladney asked us to increase our age range and that we had the presence of mind to say yes. It is so hard to have blind faith sometimes but amazing to see it all coming together now. These boys could not be more perfect for our family!

This past week was one of the happiest weeks of my entire life but in some ways it was also one of the hardest. Not only was I away from home but the meetings that I had to attend started very early in the morning and ended after dinner. I had little time to myself and the work was intense, requiring my concentration, so when email after email after comment after facebook message after phone call kept pouring in, all I could do was try to ignore this explosion of love and happiness and hold in the tears of joy that kept threatening to spill forth in the most inappropriate of settings!

I have finally caught up on all your messages and let me say now what I couldn’t say then:

Thank you all so very much for your kind words and well wishes! Your happiness for us has heightened our joy and we appreciate it so very much!

If I haven't responded to you individually, please forgive me and just know that your support means so much to us.

On Friday night Mark and I made up for lost time by celebrating with a vengeance. We plastered 8 X 10 printouts of the boys to the fridge. We drank champagne. We cried tears of joy and also tears of sorrow for all that our boys and their birth family have been through. We talked excitedly and incessantly about how amazing and beautiful and amazing and beautiful these boys are. We cooked and ate more of this…

Mesir Wat

And this…

Yetakelt W'et

Yesterday we did a little shopping. More tears of joy happened in the parking lots of Baby Gap and Toys-R-Us as the realization that we finally knew who we were shopping for hit me square in the chest! We are excited to be sending care packages to Ethiopia in a couple days with our wait list buddies, Beka and Mika. Also traveling this week are Rebecca and Corrie and Jess. Everyone promises to snap a few pictures and dole out some love to our little ones! I have spent many, many months on the wait list with these ladies and, in spite of my delayed graduation, I think of them as my graduating class since most of us went on the wait list around the same time. Though I have never met them in person, we have shared so much that I feel I know them and they me. I am grateful to have these women in my life and so excited for them to meet the twins and to bring their own children home!!

Here’s what we wish we could send to the boys…

But no one had enough room in their suitcase, ha! So here’s what we narrowed it down to…

Going with Mika are matching soft snuggly jammies and two awesome little trucks! (No, I do not plan to dress them alike most of the time, but I just couldn't resist!)

Going with Beka are soft snuggly horses purchased on the Denver trip, and cloth photo albums with pictures of us, the dogs, the house, etc. to help the boys get used to the idea of their new family. ***Many of you have asked where to purchase these photo books. I bought them at One Step Ahead almost a year ago and I am sorry to say that they have since been discontinued.

Until we can get these guys home and in our arms, this will have to do. We have every bit of faith in our agency and we know that they are being well cared for in the meantime.

OK, so what’s next and when do we get them home, you ask?

Our paperwork has been submitted to the court system in Ethiopia and now we are waiting - yes, more waiting - for a court date. There are many other families with our agency, and with other agencies, that are in the queue ahead of us so this can take time and how much time varies from case to case and month to month. During our time on the wait list we have seen families wait as much as eight months and as little as two weeks for a date. Our agency is estimating the current average wait times to be about one to two months, which is a recent change in our favor, and hopefully good news for us!

Once we are assigned a court date, the actual court appointment is typically scheduled up to one month out. Our agency takes care of all the legal proceedings on our behalf so we won't travel during this stage. Some families sail through court on the first try, while others have to go back for multiple tries. There are several reasons why a family might not pass the first time but it is a buzz kill to think about all that right now so I will write more later.

After we pass court, we will travel to Ethiopia to pick up our boys!! Our travel date will depend on when our visa appointment is scheduled with the US Embassy in Addis Ababa. Travel is typically 2-6 weeks after passing court.

So, if you add up the individual pieces, you get an average wait of 2 to 5 months to get them home. As many of you know, we have not exactly had the smoothest journey so far. Record breaking has been more our style than falling within averages but we are super hopeful that this stage of the journey will be smoother. If you are the praying kind, please pray, or cross fingers or send hopes and vibes...we are doing all of the above in hopes that we can get these guys home quickly!

Thank you again for all your well wishes. We are grateful for the support you have shown to us and our sweet little Ethiopian twins!!

"There is no remedy for love but to love more." ~Henry David Thoreau (1817 - 1862), Journal, July 25, 1839

AT LAST!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Today was the day we finally saw their faces. They are the most beautiful faces I have ever seen. Faces that are almost identical, except for a tiny little scar on one beautiful chin and a teeny little mark on one completely smoochable neck.

They are twins!! 28 months old!! A boy and a boy!! Brothers who have had each other through everything. Brothers who will continue to have each other and who, God willing, will have us very soon!!

Everyone says that it happens when you least expect it but I honestly thought that was impossible. I have been thinking about this call for eighteen months and expecting it almost every minute of every day for the past FIVE. How on earth could it come when I didn't expect it?

Well, it did. Today was an unusual day because I had to leave for an out of town business trip. I procrastinated over the weekend and had a lot to do so I was at my desk working hard by 6 AM. Mid-morning I sent our case worker an email with my schedule for the week, having given up on getting the call that morning and knowing that I would be hard to reach over the next few days. Then I packed a suitcase and headed for the airport.

By the time I got to the airport I had stopped thinking about getting the call completely, since it was already past the time I told Kristin she could reach me. I had about an hour to kill so I popped over to Brookstone to look at their carry-on bags. We’ve had one for several years that we really like and have been thinking of getting another one before our trip to Ethiopia (just because I stopped thinking about the call doesn't mean I stopped thinking about our adoption!). I called Mark and asked him to order it online so I wouldn’t have to drag it all the way to Denver and back. Then I walked over to the security line.

Just before taking my shoes off I looked at my Blackberry and saw an email from Kristin. I didn’t get excited. We’ve been emailing a lot over the past few weeks and I figured it was just her reply to my earlier email. But when I opened the message my eyes flew to the words:

“...your referral is READY” and “I think you are on a plane but call or email me if you get this...”

WHAAAAAT????

I didn’t even read the rest of the email. With tears streaming down my face and very shaky hands I somehow managed to type something like:

“NO I AM still HERE at the airpfrot for an hoiur call me!!!!”

Then I called Mark. That conversation went something like:

Mark: "Yeeees?" (Wondering why I was calling again since we had just hung up about the luggage.)
Me: "ARE YOU READY?!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" (Very high pitched and much too loud. Incidently, I have no idea why I choose those words.)
Mark: "Ready for what?" (Probably still thinking about the luggage and wondering if I had finally lost it completely.)
Me: Blubbering and crying now. Must have said something about the email and our referral being ready. In any event, he figured it out.
Mark: Laughing and laughing and then “Where are you?”
Me: "Just about to go through security. I’ve stepped to the side."
Mark: More laughing...
Me: Laughing too now...
Me: "Why are we laughing?"
Mark: Still laughing..."We can’t do anything the easy way, can we? We can’t even get our referral like normal people!"
Me: "I KNOW! Look, let me get through security and get some place where I can boot up my laptop. I have 45 minutes before my plane boards. Maybe she can at least send us a picture or two before I get on the plane!"

Somehow I made it through security. The guard had to stop me first because I tried to walk through while responding to Mark’s text message telling me to hurry, then because I forgot to take off my sweater (really don’t understand what sort of terrorist plot could start with a sweater but ok) and then because my bracelets set off the alarm. SHEESH! Finally I got to the bench where you put your shoes back on and even before putting my shoes on I called Kristin.


Voicemail


Managed to put my shoes on and not forget any of my belongings. Then I walked over and sat down at gate C4. Realized that my gate was actually C14. Started high tailing it to C14 all the while trying to respond to several text messages from Mark and forward him the original email from Kristin. Somehow I made it to my gate without running anyone over in the process. I am sure I looked like a complete and utter lunatic.

There were about a million people in the waiting area but I found a seat in a corner way off to the side. Took a deep breath. Decided to read Kristin’s email in its entirety and started booting up my laptop. Then I called Kristin again.


Voicemail


So I called Mark instead and we just sat there laughing and crying and staring at our email inboxes hoping something would appear. I sent Kristin another email (poor Kristin!). Then after about 15 minutes we decided to hang up so that we wouldn’t waste our batteries. I think I called Kristin another 3 or 4 times, each time getting voicemail (POOR Kristin!!). The flight attendants started pre-boarding and I resigned myself to the fact that I was going to have to WAIT until I got to Denver. Before shutting down I decided to try calling one last time and there was Kristin’s sweet voice on the other end saying:


“Heidi?!!!! Can I send you an email? Wait till you see them, they are so precious!!!”


Oh my heart! I managed to open her email but then she started telling me their names and my brain turned to complete mush. I just sat there dumbfounded, having completely forgotten how to download an attachment. Really, for the life of me I couldn’t remember how to access the pictures (did I ever mention that I work for a SOFTWARE COMPANY?! Technology is kind of my THING!). Kristin kept saying, "Have you opened them yet?", which somehow snapped me to and then there they were! Two precious little boys. Looking more beautiful, and sweeter, and cuter, and funnier, and chubbier and sweeter, and more beautiful then I ever imagined! There they were smiling, and waving, and running, and wiggling around on the ground like little rascals! Be still my heart!

I really needed to get on my plane so Kristin agreed to call us tonight with the rest of the referral information after she puts her own children to bed (POOR WONDERFUL KRISTIN!!). I called Mark briefly so I could tell him how to pronounce their names and hear how happy he sounded. As I was walking onto the plane I emailed a few pictures to my mother. She called me in tears just as I got to my seat and we had a couple minutes to cry and rejoice together before they made me turn my phone off.

I wrote all of this while I was sitting on the plane, wishing I was celebrating with my family instead of squished into a tiny seat with a glass of apple juice, but at least I had the faces of my future sons to keep me company! I have looked at them about a thousand times already. Oh me, oh my, I am in love!!!!!!

P.S. For those who don't know, we aren't allowed to post pictures or their names on public internet sites until we pass court and they are legally our children (more to come on what that means). For now you will just have to take my word for it...they are gorgeous!!!

The Meaning of Things

I am one of those people who like to find meaning in things. It makes me feel like I’m on the right path, like there is some purpose or divine destiny to this life. Maybe there is, maybe there isn’t, but it makes me feel good to think so and I swear I can feel it in my bones sometimes. I think it would be really hard to ride the roller coaster of adoption without this belief.

Since we started our adoption lots of things have come together to allow me to connect dots in meaningful ways. Like, for instance, the overwhelming feeling for the past two and a half decades that a big piece of my puzzle was in Africa. I wrote about it on all of my college applications back in, ahem, 1986. For a long time I thought it was the Peace Corps calling. A decade ago I ushered in the millennium on the shores of South Africa thinking very seriously about packing it all in to move there. Ultimately all of those ideas felt close, but somehow not quite right. This adoption feels right. Really really right. Like it is the path I searched for all those years. I feel lucky to feel this way.

I think a lot lately about whether there is some meaning behind all this waiting. We are still hoping to find out that the specific sibling pair we heard about seven weeks ago will be referred to us. When we first learned of these children we were told that they would be slightly outside our age preference. “Slightly” was estimated to be one or two months older than we had requested. Over the past seven weeks that estimate has increased, and then increased again, and then again. “Slightly outside our age preference” now means 13 months outside it.

But just as I felt called to Africa, so do I feel called to parent these children, even though they are not the ages we thought they would be. When I look closely at what has been in my heart all these many months I can see that most of the literature I’ve read, the stories that have deeply moved me, and many of the blogs that I follow religiously are about preschool age adoptions. That is not to say that it wasn’t a process getting here - to a place where I could let go of that infant I thought we would have - but I’m here now. I feel lucky to feel this way too.

Now if we could only just see their little faces...