My One Wild and Precious Life

First, a belated Happy Thanksgiving to all! Here are a few things I am thankful for...

This guy...

And these guys...

And the little guys or gals that will some day wear these. Truly, I am so thankful that life has led us to adoption.

And, of course, I am thankful for all of you!

I found myself feeling not only thankful but actually quite grateful for the long holiday weekend and took it as an opportunity to step away from the internet, the phone and all fantasies of getting the call. Four days without even the possibility of that call was not only refreshing but it made me realize that I have become a little too consumed with all this waiting, resulting in a tendency to live in my head and in the future instead of the here and now. My Thanksgiving Resolution (maybe this one will stick better than the New Year's kind!) is to not waste these next few months of waiting merely waiting, but rather living in the present where I have so much to be thankful for :)

The Summer Day

by Mary Oliver

Who made the world?

Who made the swan, and the black bear?

Who made the grasshopper?

This grasshopper, I mean-

the one who has flung herself out of the grass,

the one who is eating sugar out of my hand,

who is moving her jaws back and forth instead of up and down-

who is gazing around with her enormous and complicated eyes.

Now she lifts her pale forearms and thoroughly washes her face.

Now she snaps her wings open, and floats away.

I don't know exactly what a prayer is.

I do know how to pay attention, how to fall down

into the grass, how to kneel down in the grass,

how to be idle and blessed, how to stroll through the fields,

which is what I have been doing all day.

Tell me, what else should I have done?

Doesn't everything die at last, and too soon?

Tell me, what is it you plan to do

with your one wild and precious life?

Singsong Saturday

On The Road To Find Out
~ by Cat Stevens

Well I left my happy home to see what I could find out
I left my folk and friends with the aim to clear my mind out
Well I hit the rowdy road and many kinds I met there
Many stories told me of the way to get there
So on and on I go, the seconds tick the time out
There's so much left to know, and I'm on the road to find out

Well in the end I'll know, but on the way I wonder
Through descending snow, and through the frost and thunder
Well, I listen to the wind come howl, telling me I have to hurry
I listen to the robin's song saying not to worry
So on and on I go, the seconds tick the time out
There's so much left to know, and I'm on the road to findout

Then I found myself alone, hopin' someone would miss me
Thinking about my home, and the last woman to kiss me, kiss me
But sometimes you have to moan when nothing seems to suit yer
But nevertheless you know you're locked towards the future
So on and on you go, the seconds tick the time out
There's so much left to know, and I'm on the road to findout

Then I found my head one day when I wasn't even trying
And here I have to say, 'cause there is no use in lying, lying
Yes the answer lies within, so why not take a look now?
Kick out the devil's sin, pick up, pick up a good book now

A Few of My Favorite Things

As we enter the time of year when most of us are planning to part with a few pennies and looking for gift ideas, I thought I would take a moment to shamelessly plug some of my favorite places to shop AND contribute to a good cause at the same time. Because really, what better way to justify a little spending than knowing your money will be helping someone else at the same time?!

First let’s start with Junk Posse. My dear friend, Ellie wore this necklace when she was waiting to bring her daughter home. Last summer she passed it on to me and one day, when our children are home, I plan to pass it on to someone else. Tracy at Junk Posse has many other beautiful designs and I might just have to snag another for myself that I won’t be passing along (yes, I buy myself presents!). Maybe this one...

Secondly, let me point out two incredibly talented doll makers. I don't know about you, but I think a lot of the dolls I see in the stores are, well, creepy looking! Not to mention most of them lack racial diversity options. Please check out these beauties by Wren Handmade Dolls.

And these beauties by Craft Mommy, who also makes really cool banners.

For the music lover, check this out. This CD was co-produced by my friend, Tamara, and I am so incredibly proud to know her! Really, everyone needs a CD like this in their collection. You can read more about how it all got started here.

If you have books to buy, and who doesn't, please consider doing so at ANY Barnes and Nobel on Nov. 28-29. If you mention promotion code 1007 6420 prior to checking out in the store or café a portion of the proceeds will go to The Gladney Center for Adoption.

And for great stocking stuffers, please consider purchasing a few of these. By doing so you will be helping to provide meaningful, marketable job and life-skills training to teens who are about to age out of orphanages or foster care around the world.

I have added a new section to my blog entitled "Great Stuff You Might Want to Buy" that includes links to all these great things and a few more. Happy shopping!!

Wordless Wednesday

Game in Overtime

In one week we will unofficially hold the record for the longest referral wait time with our agency. Needless to say, this is not the record we were looking to break! I also had a conversation with our case worker last week that left me feeling like our referral isn’t right around the corner either.


Sigh.


All I can say are things I have said before:


1. This will be worth the wait.

2. All this waiting will be forgotten, or at least become a distant memory, some day.

3. Most importantly, I believe that when you become a parent, it ceases to be about you and it becomes about them. In my heart I have been mother to these children for months and whatever I am feeling pales in comparison to the profound loss that is occurring in their young lives.


I can also say that I have complete faith in Gladney. I know that they are working ethically and in our best interest – a tough balancing act that some agencies don’t manage very well. They always told us that being matched with a young sibling pair could take time, and they were right. We think it will be worth the wait. We think this will all make sense some day. We think that what we are feeling pales in comparison...ok, ok, you get the idea.


All this waiting has also allowed me to meet some of the most incredible people. I don't know what it is about this adoption community, but you folks are amazing. From the bottom of my heart, thank you for your support! And with that said, I am off to meet up with this person. I know, some of you are jealous. And, yes, she is as cool in person as she sounds on her blog!!

Number 11

“In American football, a team has eleven players on the field at one time during play.” ~Come on, it’s football season. I had to include that one!

“In the mockumentary This Is Spinal Tap, Spinal Tap’s amplifiers go up to eleven.” ~Tehehe. I might be getting old but the silly humor in that movie never does.

“Number Eleven possesses the qualities of intuition, patience, honesty, sensitivity, spirituality, and idealism.” ~Uh, OK, I like those qualities. I’ll go with that.

“Eleven's colours are Gold, Salmon, Prune, White and Black.” ~Huh? Ok, well, worn all together you’d look like a Solid Gold Dancer, but Prune has potential. Maybe I was wrong about my lucky green blazer. There must be something Prune in my closet that I can obsess over...

“Being only one hour before 12:00 midnight, the eleventh hour means the last possible moment to take care of something.” ~All too familiar with that concept…

“The number eleven is important in numerology, as it is the first of the Master Numbers.” ~I don’t know what that means, but it sounds important.

“In Astrology, Aquarius is the 11th astrological sign of the Zodiac.” ~I’m an Aquarius, and furthermore, I was born on the 11th day of that month!

AND today is the 11th day of the 11th month and it marks our completion of 11 months on the wait list! Do-do-do-do....do-do-do-do....do-do-do-do (think Twilight Zone)…

Come on ELEVEN! Pretty please be our lucky number!

Finding My Heart

August 2002

Mark and I had only been together a couple months when we first discussed our desire to adopt. It was a warm summer evening and we were sitting on my Dad's dock in Maine, drinking beer and getting to know each other. The topic of being raised by adoptive fathers came up - something Mark and I share in common - and it led to a discussion about building our own family through adoption some day.

Clearly we were falling in love quickly if we were on that topic already, but that's another story!

Fast forward 6 years and for a variety of reasons we had not taken action on our dream. I had done a few internet searches here and there but always came away overwhelmed and no closer to knowing how or where to begin. Then one day my mother sent me an email. It was just a "hi, how are you" type of email but in it she mentioned that she was doing something with The Order of Malta for St. Charles.

I had no idea what the Order of Malta was and had to Google it. It’s interesting - you can read about it here. St. Charles is a Group Home in the town where I grew up. My mother was always encouraging me to bring those kids home after school, which I did once in a while, but I don't think I wanted to and I definitely didn't understand why she wanted me to.

If I could rewind the clock I would bring those kids home every day and I wouldn't be so jealous when it seemed like all they wanted to do was steal my mother's affections.

I don't know what it was about that day, but the thought of St. Charles made me very emotional. When I went to their website the tears started flowing and I kept thinking, "I want to adopt!". I ended up spending the better part of the day researching the myriad of options surrounding adoption. This time I didn't come away overwhelmed by choices but rather overwhelmed by clarity, emotion and a certainty that this was something I wanted to do. I expected resistance from Mark but when I blurted out "I think we should get serious about adopting" there wasn't an ounce of hesitation in his "OK". I have pursued this dream like a woman on fire ever since.

There is a passage in Josh and Amy Bottomly's book, "From Ashes to Africa", that I just love. It talks about how "any time art touches your life with tears, whether through a story, song, film or painting, it is wise to pay attention to those tears because they might just help you find your heart...".

So, ok, this sequence of events wasn’t exactly art, but it was most definitely my tears that helped me find my heart and see what was inside it.

Fast forward another 17 months and that takes us to the present. Yesterday my mother sent me another "hi, how are you" email mentioning St. Charles and The Order of Malta. It is the first time she has mentioned either since the day that set this whole thing in motion. I, for one, think it would be rather fitting and pretty cool to have this be the week that we finally get to see the faces of the little ones who were born in our hearts so long ago...

(Note: Although we did not see their faces for another several weeks, the day after I wrote this we did get a call from our case worker asking us if we were open to twins and open to upping our age range in order to pursue them!)

Tidbit Thursday

Ok, admittedly not as catchy as "Wordless Wednesday", but I’m tired of writing about this wait (I bet some of you are tired of reading about it too!) so today I will be talking about something far more interesting – a group of inspiring people from the country that is giving us our children.

I am hungry to know more about Ethiopia, and sometimes I wish that there was less talk about the hardships and more talk about the good things that are going on. I want to be able to paint a realistic but positive picture of this beautiful country for our children some day. Recently I came across this tidbit on another blog, and although it does tie back to the many hardships, it also speaks of hope and empowerment and transformation.

Behold the Adugna Community Dance Company!

Pretty cool, huh? This dance company is from Addis Ababa, Ethiopia, and began with an initial dance theatre performance involving over 100 street children (No one knows how many thousands of street children roam Ethiopia’s capital city. Their numbers are so vast and their situations so varied that it is impossible to know how to begin to find them all). The intention of the performance was to give these children voice and presence, and to highlight both the plight of street children and their potential as agents of their own change.

Eighteen children from the initial performance were selected to undertake intensive five-year training in contemporary and traditional dance. These children have since emerged as performers, teachers and social outreach facilitators with accreditation from Middlesex University in England.

After graduating, the dancers decided to continue working together and formed the Adugna Community Dance Company. Their aim was to help transform other people's lives as their own have been transformed. Adugna now has a strong reputation in Ethiopia, and there is growing demand for their repertoire of workshops, training programs and performances.

This is a 27 minute video, which is admittedly more time than most of us have for blog stalking, but it's worth watching even if you can only catch the first few minutes.


Adugna from simon fildes on Vimeo.

An Opportunity to Get Involved

If you have been rooting for us on the sidelines wondering how you might get more involved, this post is for you!

Our agency, Gladney, has been able to access free shipping of several crates to Addis Ababa, Ethiopia. They have several infant incubators that were donated by a Texas Children’s Hospital that will be going in some of the crates, but they would like to fill the remaining crates with diapers, wipes, hand sanitizer, and baby carriers - all of which will be going to the Foster Homes in Ethiopia where our children, and many other children, are waiting to be adopted.

They have made it super easy to participate in this donation effort by making arrangements with diapers.com, who will provide $10 off (on first time orders that include diapers) and fast free shipping if your order is over $49.

If you would like to participate, here's how:

• Go to diapers.com  in time for delivery by November 15th.

• Order any of the following products that the children and in-country caregivers need:
  
  Babyganics Germinator Hand Sanitizer - 250 ml
  
  Huggies Snug and Dry Diapers - Extra Large Case - (sizes needed size 1 through size 3)
  
  Huggies Natural Care Fragrance Free Baby Wipes - 360 Count Refill
  
  Baby Bjorn Baby Carrier Original - City Black
  

• Enter the Referral Code “Gladney” on the shopping cart screen when you check out to get a $10 discount (This code did not work for me for some reason. If you have the same problem you can use "HEID6267" to get the $10 off. Your order must include diapers for it to work).

• Ship your donation directly to Gladney at:

Scott Brown
Gladney Center for Adoption

6300 John Ryan Drive

Fort Worth, Texas 76132

I also want to add, especially for anyone who will be traveling to Ethiopia to bring their children home, consider asking your pediatrician if they would be interested in making donations of formula and medications (anything that would be found in a typical first aid kit is needed). We spoke with our pediatrician about this and he is excited to help.

There will be no way for me to know who was kind enough to participate so leave me a comment or send me an email so I can thank you for your generosity!

Music Clip Monday

Answer ~by Sarah McLachlan

I will be the answer at the end of the line

I will be there for you while you take the time
In the burning of uncertainty, I will be your solid ground
I will hold the balance if you can't look down

If it takes my whole life, I won't break, I won't bend
It will all be worth it, worth it in the end
Because I can only tell you what I know, that I need you in my life
When the stars have all gone out you'll still be burning so bright

Cast me gently into morning
For the night has been unkind
Take me to a, a place so holy
That I can wash this from my mind
The memory of choosing not to fight

If it takes my whole life, I won't break, I won't bend
It will all be worth it, worth it in the end
Because I can only tell you what I know, that I need you in my life
When the stars have all burned out you'll still be burning so bright

Cast me gently into morning
For the night has been unkind